yesterday was ...

my 39th birthday!!! Happy Birthday to me, happy birthday to me, happy birthday dear meeeeee, happy birthday to me!

While I am not thrilled about the nine behind the three, I am happy about two things:

1) I made it to 39 - the last two months have given me quite a bit to think about regarding what would happen if I had not survived the stroke (I see a post about this one coming...).

The biggest revelation that I have discovered about myself is that were I to die, I want my husband to re-marry. This is a big deal for me to actually feel that way, because it has not always been the case. Hubbie and I actually had this discussion a year or so after we were married (but before kids, and maybe that makes the difference) and I told him in no uncertain terms, if I were to die, he was to spend the rest of his life pining for me.

I haven't given this much thought over the last 10 years or so, but the day I came home from the hospital, we re-visited the topic and I was obnoxiously insistent that he is to find a wonderful woman (no, not more wonderful, beautiful, kind, normal than I, but wonderful) to marry, raise the kids and spend the rest of his life with. Yes, morose, but very important to me...

2. I am not 40 (yet) ... I think it will take a good portion of the year to adjust to turning 40 next year. Don't get me wrong, I am grateful for my life, family, children, hubbie, etc, but I still cling to being "in my 30's" ...

So, happy day around here ... hubbie and the kids surprised me with a zoom lens for my camera. It really was an awesome surprise because it meant that he had to do RESEARCH and make decisions about technical equipment (my area of decision making in our home) ... and now I don't have to do it!!!! Honestly, I didn't even know where to start looking for the lens, or how much to spend, or how intense it needed to be, or anything ... so not only did I get a fabulous gift, I got "time"!!

He is awesome!!