My "spring" post last week has most certainly made a believer out of me:
1. the power of the pen - just taking the time to write down the jumbles of thoughts, fears and frustrations was amazingly cathartic. I have been able to take each point and focus on my issues and analyze where we have been and where I am going.
2. the power of community - WOW!! No one in my real world knows about this blog, however, the two comment responses and the emails that I have received make me realize that there is most definitely a blog world where there are kind and compassionate people who can sympathize, empathize and offer really really great advice!! Sometimes I feel very very alone in my own head because it is not easy to share my fears and failures with others. I really really bared my heart and soul and was not attacked for it - rather some very kind people came to my defense and offered some amazing insight - THANK YOU JCK AND HRH for taking the time to send such a wonderful message to a mom and woman who is in a tough emotional spot!!
3. the power of family - after I got up from the computer I spent the next 3 days focused on our children and found just so many amazing things in each and every one of them that I am grateful for and that make me laugh! Knowing I will get through this tough spot is all the sweeter knowing they are the reasons for being the person I am meant to be!
4. the power of GOD - am I "better" than I was last week? Not really ... Do I feel better than I did last week? Absolutely ... and I have no doubt that God's hand allowed me to reach out, express myself and receive such wonderful advice and suggestions back. Sometimes reaching out is what it takes to find the answers within and that is the best starting place of all.
And that, in a nutshell, is where I am today. Just starting! Starting to find out who and what I am meant to be as life evolves around me. Nothing is simple, that is for sure ... but I am at a starting point and will be picking and choosing my way through the next hours, days & months. And reading some great blogs by some great people!
Monday, March 17, 2008
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Yeah! I almost started crying when I read that. I am soooo glad that you received some comfort. One thing that is hard about just writing short bits and comments is that sometimes you don't know how the comments are taken. If they understood the underlying caring which is often hard to put into words. I am so glad that you are doing better. Yeah!
I was touched, too, by your "Spring" post. As I get ready for the birth of #2, I sometimes find myself wondering if *this* is the real me, or if the "real" me has gotten buried somewhere in the Mom identity I've embraced. Be strong, and hang in there.
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