It's a Beautiful Day in the Neighborhood ...

Feeling really really good today, got everyone out the door with no arguments raised voices or eye rolls! SUCCESS...put on my sneakers ready to go for my walk - and ran back inside because I had forgotten about the honor roll assembly this morning! It must be a beautiful day for me to completely forget about something so important!!

CONGRATULATIONS to my two oldest children who made the 'A' Honor roll again this marking period. Our fourth grader made it by the skin of her teeth, but then again, there were only 3 in her class of 26 who actually made it - it was a tough marking period for all of them. The 5th grader made it with flying colors, but I am still awfully proud of him because it means he managed to stay focused for the whole 9 weeks - which is an achievement in and of itself.

I am loving my kids today - there are just some days my awe of them is overwhelming ... and fortunately today is one of them!! Honestly, getting out the door this morning with everyone laughing and having a great time has more to do with my awe than their grades ... that is just the icing on the cake!

great day!

Finally, after two weeks of thinking about it (and that is after months and months of reading about it) ... I have finally put together my wl plan (56 weeks to get to my goal ... but only 16 to get to my pre-stroke weight) ... AND I finally walked with my good friend today. First official walk-walk since June 11th (the disastrous day!!!). Everything from my chest down hurts, but I keep telling myself that it is a good hurt and will only get better as I keep moving. I will try to limit the weight loss posts, but I am sure you will quickly tire of them!!

the redhead is mine!!

and now, back to our regularly scheduled programming...

spring break is over. I know there will come a day when I am relieved that the kids will be back in college after a REAL spring break having survived safe and sound, but right now, I am a little sad that they are back to their regular schedule and I am back to being the bus driver. A great break was had by everyone ... the kids spent three days in Williamsburg with my parents (I know, lucky me!!!) and I spent a day at a play, one with my hubbie and one getting ready for a fundraising gala on Saturday night.

Saturday was lacrosse day ... and the day was ABSOLUTELY PERFECT!!! Sunny and in the 70's - I FRIED my face and the "v" of my t-shirt, but what a great day!! Unfortunately Jack's undefeated team lost - to a group of kids who have obviously never been taught the phrase "win with humility". The winning team spent the entire 2nd game (the younger kids were playing) taunting our guys - Jack included. To their credit, our guys stayed out of the verbal war ... we are just waiting for our next match with them! To further the poor-sportsmanship of the day, our daughter's game was plagued with opposing coaches who spent 2 LONG games screaming at the ref until one particularly nasty coach was thrown off the field. I am a competitive person by nature, but come on parents, we aren't even keeping score at this level - CHILL!!

Needless to say, life is back to normal - school, sports, homework. My weight loss journey needs a serious re-invigoration (I don't even think that is a word) ... I love eating, and am controlling it, but obviously not enough.

Toodles.

in memory

after my complaining about the rain and cold ... I learned about a tragic accident that took the lives of two 9 year old girls and one girl's grandmother that happened yesterday. Of course it is rainy and cold today as three families have to find a way to say goodbye to such darling creatures. My head is spinning as I even try to contemplate what those families are going through. My own daughter is spending the night at my best friend's house ... but you can bet, as soon as she comes home she will experience all the love this mother has to give.

God Bless Hannah & Madison, you are loved, you are missed and you will be at the forefront of our hearts for eternity.

rain rain go away ...

yes, I know how much we need the rain, but with a house full of kids, no heat on the lower two levels (quite the statement after the $1600 bill for them to fix the system yesterday and THEN tell me that we need to wait for warm weather so we can run the AC for a month before we can get the heat to work properly ...)

I WANT SUN!!!

Happy Easter Monday

Yesterday was certainly a joyous one! We made it to 8am services and I have never felt so sorry for those in charge! Everything that could go wrong at the 2nd most crowded service of the year, DID!! Jack was acolyte and thank goodness he wore his blazer to church because his robe was TOTALLY missing! He looks so handsome and grown up in his blazer, I doubt anyone even noticed that he wasn't wearing his robe. Then, the computer that scrolls all of the words of our hymns completely went wacky ... and no one could figure out the words after the first verse. The offering plates were completely missing, and finally the oil in the alter candles was not checked, so when Jack went back to extinguish the light and carry it out into the world, he had to do a great job of "faking it". (proud, proud mama)

All that went wrong, however, was made up for by probably the greatest Easter Sermon I have ever heard! God is good ... and he is with us. The sermon was about Mary's sorrow at the tomb when Jesus was gone ... and how so many of us "remain at the grave" when those we love pass on. If we tie the resurrection to returning to heaven, then we need to be happy (while mourning a loss) that our love ones are now with God and Jesus. I am not doing it justice at all here - but it was an amazing sermon. Even the kids were mezmerized ... and we spent a lot of time for the rest of the day talking about Jesus dying for our sins, our responsibilities as Christians, being thankful and how much we miss Chris' mom, my grandfather, and my grandmother.

Happy Easter, may you feel blessed today.

SPRING BREAK ...

is here!!! Yesterday I subbed at the kid's school and felt the same envy that I felt when I was in college. EVERYONE ELSE IS GOING AWAY ... I am just going to be at home doing nothing! When I was growing up, my family was fortunate to live in a resort community, but we also owned and ran a family motel. That meant that all breaks - spring, summer, Columbus Day (not christmas or new years because it is a COOOLLLDDD beach in the winter) I spent working at the family business - that is after all how I got through college debt free!

Anyway, I was always so jealous of all of my friends who were going to fabulous places - Florida, Texas, CA ... the islands ... this year one of my good friends is going to Hawaii for 10 days with their three kids and yes, the green eyed monster is rearing its ugly head ... I WANT TO GO TOO! But, for a wide variety of reasons - namely - there is NO EXTRA cash right now, we will be hanging around home for break. The kids are truly lucky to have such wonderful grandparents as they are taking them on a little fun-filled trip Wednesday through Friday!! (I wasn't even invited!!!)

All that being said, we had a wonderful day today dying and decorating Easter Eggs, walking down to the beach (still a bit chilly and blustery), watching a movie and just being together as a mom and her kids. I even got a bit of work done while they took care of dusting and vacuuming so that we could watch our movie sooner ... sometimes they are true gems!

Happy Holidays!

why "questioning"

my husband saw the title of my new blog and asked me why I used the phrase "questioning".

"God willing, you are going to turn 40 ... so what is the point in questioning it"
"Because I couldn't think of another phrase" was my oh-so-pithy answer. But it has been bugging me - I mean, he is right: 40 is coming whether I like it or not, and I am not going to spend too much time whining about getting older ... so why "questioning"?

After a half nights sleep (I don't count moving to the sofa at 3am a full nights sleep) - I think I have my answer - I am questioning who I am going to be at 40 and beyond. Will I be the same, will I be different ... is 40 like a huge New Year's Eve where I make a whole bunch of resolutions to change the person I am right now? Or do I just build on who I am now.

Frankly, deep deep down - when I get past my financial concerns and I get past my weight issues, I LOVE MY LIFE ... I just want to "live it more" or maybe I want to "live it more deliberately". I don't even really know how I want to do that, but I want to challenge all of the things that I don't like - I want to be more active, I want my kids to think I am a "young mom" instead of the matronly mother I think they believe I am now. I want to be able to run on the beach at sunrise without getting overly winded and simply appreciate the beauty that "is". I want my husband to really think I am sexy again (yes, he says he does, but I guess I want to feel it again) ... I want to feel confidence in ALL of the decisions I make about the kids - not just in a few of them. I don't want life to just keep happening to me ... I want to happen to life.

I don't even know whether all of these goals are attainable, or even if I really want all of the ramifications of them ... I just want to finally be the best me I can be - and I have quite a bit of work before I can get there!!

my birthday present to myself ...

ultimately I will lose all of the weight (and then some) that I have gained since being an adult took over my daily existence. for right now, I will, in time for my birthday - JULY 30th - simply lose the sucky weight that went on after I had the stroke in June (approximately 30 pounds). we will keep track of this, report on this, and generally discuss the miraculous weight loss here - sounds fun, doesn't it?!?!

oh, and I almost forgot ...

I am turning 40 in 4-ish months ... not super happy about it!! but I will be by the time that awesomest of birthdays gets here!!

it's coming ...

faster and faster every single day! I am struggling with it ... but I can't stop it! I need a sense of humor ... some serious self-indulgence ... and some laughs to get me through it.

After 3 years of keeping a family/mommy blog ... I have decided to spend the next few months dealing with the fact that my "dreaded 40th birthday" is quickly approaching. I am really not sure HOW I feel about it, I just know there are some things I would like to "resolve" before it gets here. Thought this would be a fun place to chat about my journey!