STROKE OF LUCK DAY ... one year down

Yesterday was a weird one ... emotionally, spiritually, physically.  I had no idea what to expect, I didn't know how it was going to go - would it be a happy day, a sad day?!?

First of all, we named June 10th "Stroke of Luck Day" ... the kids didn't like the name S-day, so we spent breakfast putting our brains together and figuring out a name for the day.  So, as the 6 year old says "we can tell OUR kids that we are celebrating because Mommy was LUCKY on June 10th 2008 to have a stroke". 

I had all kinds of plans to celebrate yesterday, but hubbie ended up having to go to a conference and left the house at 5:30, the kids had a full day of school and swim practice and I ended up going to a funeral of a lovely mother of 2 who died of complications from Cystic Fibrosis.  I really struggled with the idea of going to the funeral, I just didn't know that emotionally I could handle it, but in the end, I couldn't NOT go ... and I am so glad that I did.

Sitting at her service, with more than 500 people in the church, I received such a vivid reminder that God could have taken me last year and my family would have spent the day remembering that June 10th was the day that Mom had a stroke and now she is gone.  I really needed that reminder, especially right now.  I have stopped being grateful lately, and have been harboring a lot of resentment about the little things that I have not yet overcome.  More importantly I have not overcome them not because of illness, but because I am still using having a stroke as an excuse.  I have become a bit of a hermit, I won't take on any projects because I am scared of becoming overwhelmed and stressed.  I am not working out anymore, I am finally getting back to walking on a daily basis ... but I really want to do more, be more, be a better example for the kids.

I am not positive how to make the changes that I want to make, but the first place to start is to get outside of my own head.  As my husband says to the kids ... IT IS NOT ALL ABOUT ME!!!  I kind of stopped focusing on others and helping others in the last year while I healed, but I finally know focusing on myself is not helping my outlook nor is it making me the person I want to be.

SO, all that said, Happy Lucky Stroke Day to me ... and it looks like the First Anniversary might just be the luckiest day of all. 

Kelly, we will all miss you and we will all be there for the kids ... you can count on us!!!